AXE Survival Kit : End of the world may not be as bad as you think

For the past two years, there has been a media hype which caused a lot of public hysteria in some parts of the globe believing that the world will end in 2012. This rumor was based on ancient hieroglyphic artifacts of the Mayan calendar discovered by experts. This “end of the world” issue was so hyped; a number of production outfits even capitalized on these rumors and made a film about it. Now that 2012 is already at hand, it seems that there still aren’t any cataclysmic signs that our world will end anytime soon.

However, given the hypothetical thought that the world might end this year, let me ask you: What are the things you want to do in order for you to survive this catastrophic event?  

To put it more specifically, what are your most desired fantasies? If you are given the opportunity, would you jump right into it and make the most of it in case the end- of- the world luckily has spared you from death? I guess most people could not even comprehend where to start to explore the last adventure of their lives. If you can’t decide on the tons of things you want to do, here are recommendations from AXE’s END OF THE WORLD SURVIVAL KIT.

Below are details of its contents with helpful instructions.

ROPE:

A rope can have many uses. It can help you build a shelter by tying some scrap and debris together to shield you from the harshness of a cold dark environment. But a velvet golden rope can provide a much better use. Be mindful of some wandering HOT FEMALE survivor where you can bind her or better yet, bind yourself together so the two of you can have hands-free, post-apocalyptic wild escapades … or you can just use it to play jump rope to escape boredom.

FUEL:

After a nuclear blast comes nuclear winter. The environment can be very, very cold. You can use the fuel to burn wood and twigs to keep warm and it will attract other survivors wandering around to the fire as well.

The fuel is menthol-scented with therapeutic properties so you can also use it to massage hot chick survivors and soothe their aching bodies.  But, remember that the environment will be pitch-black with zero visibility so make sure that you pour the fuel to the wood first. That way, you can have a source of light and then you can apply some to the girl after. Otherwise, in your confusion, you might end up igniting the girl and not the wood. And that would be bad.

HANDCUFFS:

In the event that you survived with a handful of individuals, starvation will eventually create chaos over salvaged food available and the few hot damsels left around. It’s survival of the fittest and you should do whatever you can to subdue other males by placing them in handcuffs.

On the other hand, you can use the handcuffs to prevent a hot damsel from leaving you and trying to find much attractive male survivors.    

TOURNIQUET

This is a piece of black cloth with many uses. If you’re wounded, use it as a tourniquet to prevent you from bleeding to death. You can also wrap your wounds with it for faster healing. The air can hold toxic fumes so use it, too, to cover to your mouth and nose to filter what you breathe.

Aesthetically, this cloth can likewise make you look fashionable if you use it as a scarf around your neck. If you think you’re not that good looking, use it to cover your face as you seek other surviving female companion that might surface up from the rubbles.  If you find her face not as hot, use it to cover hers. It works both ways.

AXE the Final Edition

While everything is in ruins, your top concern is your physical sustenance by finding food wherever you can and the least of your concerns is grooming and bathing. Forget about hot showers because you’ll not find them easily. If all of the other useful utilities didn’t work in salvaging the few remaining girls to make your post-apocalyptic living a more pleasurable one, spraying the AXE Final edition all over your body guarantees to do wonders in attracting them. It is so effective that even in their physical immobility or in their zombie-like, half-dead condition brought about by injuries, girls would sniff the AXE scent and practically drag themselves to you.

So make every spray count and use it sparingly to attract female survivors so you’ll end in blissful ecstasy as you spend time in each other’s company watching the world in ruins. Without the AXE Survival Kit, Armageddon can never be as pleasurable.